Remember Those Butterflies?



Have you ever had that feeling when you just want all the butterflies (kilig) to stay still when you are trying to appreciate the moment? It's that stupid moment when you can't even slap the smile out of your face, just because you can't help yourself from being overjoyed. It's that time when you would do something so mundane yet your mind drifts off to far of places. Maybe it's the Valentine's Day bug or whatever that got you in that love struck state, it's not in your head anymore because it has got you in a good mood that everything is turning out all right.

I can't explain this phenomena either, but I could try to break it into pieces with my own words and experience. This feeling is undoubtedly the peak of all possibilities that can make anyone's day.

To start, I have to mention that I am a sucker for romantic gestures. I am easily the best critic of what can pass off as thoughtful or sweet, it's from all those fantasizing over crushes in High School. I can't count all the times there could be an opportunity for love to come alive. Ahh, all those daydreams are still alive inside me, I wish life could be as simple as it was back then.. When we didn't "get" what we thought we wanted. All those times taught me to have patience and understanding, even if it involved a lot of "frustrations." It didn't matter if you got along with the person, the innocence of how you perceived them would be enough to overcome all the deeper factors that make any relationship work. A simple action, like smiling at you or holding your hand would be enough. You'd get to know each other and then eventually have this dramatic break-up of having to go off to college or something. Not a hugot, I swear :p

Buuuuut, let's focus on the good parts shall we?

Right now, I've been doing some reminiscing about my teenage years. The best years of obsession towards good looking seniors. I think it would be interesting to actually post some of my diary entries because it could be very up close and personal. Ha ha. The best days I remember were when I would just see my crush order the same food as I do, or maybe even stand in line next to each other. Those were the best days of my life back in my little nene days. I am happy that I'm still easily amused, I don't need quite much to entertain myself. People could tell me their jokes and I roll over with laughter without the slightest grace. Before, it would be about the very very very slightest details that could make my day, and now it's like I'm going after a quota from the happiness bank. I demand more and more memories instead of being chill & happy.

As we grow older, our focus on the little things turn bleak and the only time we realize the things that truly do matter, it always seems too late. But sweetie, if you try, nothing is ever going to be too late. Do what you love, you'll find who you will love. Appreciate what you do, and everything will open up and things will turn out the way you want them to be,

I am a sucker for love stories, any kind! A boy-meets-girl scenario is great, the best friend who fell in love, a cute-meet (the ones you see in movies), the type people get back together after years of being away. It isn't also only about the lovers, I enjoy the love stories of families, like brothers bond of the sort, the best friends with that travelling pants thing, anything that involves caring for one another. It's all so inspiring and magical that it goes unnoticed.

I want to go back, or maybe I just want to have that mindset. To know what I want and go after it. To never settle, to be accepting of everything and have the resilience to do more instead of dreaming more. I have been on pause for way too long. I don't need any of those checklists to make me proud. I want to feel those butterflies, and I can't wait until I meet that son-of-a-gun who'll be my partner, my friend, and love of my life. Cheeseballs, but I can't wait to finally meet you. I hope you are not busy being a goof, we've got a lot of catching up to do!

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